Friday, April 25, 2014

I'm not here... This isn't happening' ... We all lived

This is one of those days when everything makes sense yet something doesn’t.

How not different, you say? Yea, I realized that as I wrote that…

Anyway…. The work is easing off and I’m back in the slump of crash and verge of boredom. As such, I was casting around for something to do, hoping it would be something to obsess over, I landed on “How to disappear completely” by Radiohead. I had come across the name of the song before, in some reading or the other. But I had not paid much attention to lyrics or made an effort to listen to it.

Today is one of those days when I figured...why not?

So I YouTube it and put on my ear plugs. Normally for the first few hearings I get the karaoke video mainly to get the lyrics down (that is the most important piece of the music, don’t you agree) but primarily because karaoke versions have low risk of being NSFW than the actual video.

But today is one of those days when I thought…

I wanted to figure the lyrics by myself…. I mean how hard it is going to be! So I started playing the song…. Noting the lyrics as he sang (oh, so divine) and reached until here..
That there
That’s not me
I go where I please
I walk through all/walls
I float down the leafy(?)
I’m not here… This isn’t happening!
I’m not here… I’m not here!
In a/my little while/ world
I’ll be gone
The moments already passed
Yea… yea... it’s gone!
And I’m not here… This isn’t happening!
I’m not here

After that the “Connection to Server” was lost. Normal occurrence…via office network and all… so can’t complain. I tried clicking on the next video listed. Same place, same pause. Then again the next and the next!


I have run out of lyrics-videos to play and started playing the video-video ones. The same!


I even tried playing the whole album. But you must have guessed by now where it stopped. (If not, I worry for your sanity… seeing as I have helped you to puzzle this out by dedicating the entire post for this insignificant occurrence)


Putting the sillyness aside (woefully)…. Here’s what I’m thinking and this is what led me to break the ennui, become the master of introspection and to re-dust this withering space of a blog….fuelled on by this singular Radiohead annoyance.
Recently, lately, I have been thinking a lot about coincidences, futility of occurrences, our control(?) over the way things collide and disperse, how we pick up strands of them to make some sort of cohesive minutiae, the itch to make sense of things, utility of knowledge to make leaps across the dots….

Today is one of those days.

As like I have done many a-times before I think I might start a process of recording how one snippet of attention leads to an obsession which then leads to the next. May be I will lose interest in the project because of the expectations to record the finding. Or maybe, just maybe it will help me arrive at the answer to the question of ….what was it again?

Yes… the concept of ‘would I have known this had I not have done this”...i.e., If I was not at Point A , would I have reached Point B. Mind; A and B could both be patently ridiculous in the scheme of things, which truthfully shouldn’t deserve all this thought and action. But it would be interesting to note which leads to where and how the picture will end up being. Sort of like the children’s puzzle of ‘Connect the dots’… except in this grown up version the dots are invisible until you start from a source in a direction entirely of your choice and keep reaching until you hit a spot.

You may ask why this is important, or how is it relevant, or what is it going to achieve, or where does it end, or I don’t know any other question words - there should be 2 more, at least! But I don’t have an answer to any of them. Because I don’t know!

And today is one of those days where I can’t be arsed to find out.

But this business with the Radiohead is freaking me out. What karmic presence needs to intervene for me to hear that damn song? I have been at it for the last 2 hours. Not just this…. But only just.

Anyways , what are you non-pathetic folks up to?

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