Thursday, August 18, 2016

நித்யமல்லி

குயில் போடும் கூச்சலில் துயில் களைந்து
உள்ளங்கை வெப்பத்தில் கண்திறந்து
கன்னம் வருடியும் புறம் புரளும் சிணுங்கல்.
ரசித்து, முகநூல் காணாத வாசல் கோலமிட்டு
உள்வந்தால், விரல் பட்டு கைமாறும் கோப்பையில்
உள்ளம் விழிக்கும் ஓர் காலை வணக்கம்!
என விந்தையாய் ஒரு வாழ்க்கை செய்வோம்!

அடிபம்பில் குளியல், ஆழ்மனதில் வேண்டுதல்
உடல்வியர்க்க, உச்சி காய, நாவறள வேலை! முடிய
களைத்து அமர்ந்து, கதையுடன் காயும் சோறும்!
ஆறுதலாய் துவைத்துளர்த்திய காற்றாடிகள்.
கண்ணயர துணையாய் பழங்கதை பேசும் காகம்,
இவ்வாறு வானொலியுடன் மூன்றாம் ஜாமம்!
என விந்தையாய் ஒரு வாழ்க்கை செய்வோம்

தோட்டத்து மல்லிகையும், முற்றத்தில் ஊற்றிய ஈரமும்
மனதை உரக்க உரைக்க, மலர்ந்து, அகல் ஏற்றும் வேளை,
ஆற்றங்கரை காற்றலை சேர்க்கா மௌனத்திலும் -
நதியோர பிள்ளையார், வீதியோர கூட்டாளிகள். இடையே
கால்மணி குலுங்க, கண்வலை ஈர்க்க
நாம் ஆடும் யாருமறியா கண்ணாமூச்சியிலும் -
அடிவானம் வெட்கப்படும் சாயங்காலம்.
என விந்தையாய் ஒரு வாழ்க்கை செய்வோம்

குமுட்டி அடுப்பும், கோழிமுட்டை பல்பும்
பலகாலம் போன கதை சொல்லி,
பலகாரம் செய்துண்ணும் போதும்
பின் பலவாறு தினம் சொல்லும் ஒரே கதையில்
கைவிசிறிக்காற்றில் ஆடும் வளையோசை லயத்துடன்
இருள் கொண்டு பொருள் தேடி விடியும் நள்ளிரவு
என விந்தையாய் ஒரு வாழ்க்கை செய்வோம்

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A dream of form in days of thought

If you don't remember, then what was the point?
Of the beginning and its ends
Of greedy hearts and tender thoughts
Of nights of moon and promise of stars
Of baby dreams and solid grounds
Of silent questions and answered kisses
Of taste of hunger and pleads for quiet
Of stolen wishes and empty verses
Of woes of gay and depths of faith
Of washed up desires and chosen poison
Of tales of burdock and minnows and elephants
Of honest haunts and bloodied silence
Of the short truth and longer shadow
Of anything from here back to the top
If you can't forget, then what was the point?

Monday, September 28, 2015

whatchamacallit?

அடர்ந்த காடு. தனிமையில்,
துணைதேடி ஒரு பூமரம்.
பார்க்க வந்த ராஜன் வியந்தான்.
இது கலை! இது  காவியம்!
பலவாறு புகழ்ந்தான் .
மேலும் அழகாய் ஆக்க வியைந்தான்.
இலைகளின் சரசரப்பு இரைச்சலை வெறுத்தான்.
கிளைகள் ஆடம்பரம் எனக் களைந்தான்.
குளிர் நிழல் பொழுதுக்கும் தேவையில்லையே!
பொருளின்றி காயும் தண்டு  வீணென்று வெட்டினான்
“இதனால் நான் நானாக இல்லாமலே போவேனே!
இவ்வாறு புண்ணாக்கி இத்-தையல் தேவையா”?
கேட்ட மரத்திடம்: "ஒப்பற்று இருப்பாய்
நான் கலைஞன்,  நம்பு என வருத்தினான் !"
உயர்ந்து காற்றில் ஆடிய மரம்,
அமர்ந்து கதை பேசும் மேடை ஆனது.
கற்பனையா , மிகும்  காவியமா  என்று அறிஞர்கள்  விவாதிக்க
பேதமையே,வெறும்  சோதனையே  என்று  கிறுக்கர்கள்  கெஞ்சினார்கள்.
தன் விதி  நிலை  வெறுத்த  மரத்திடம்
ஒரு  பூச்செண்டு கொடுத்து;
"நான் என்ன செய்தேன், இன்னும்
உன்  வேர்  உன்னிடம் தானே  கேட்டான்"!

எதனால் ஏமாற்றம், எதற்குப்  பழி என்றான்!

Monday, July 27, 2015

Stream of consciousness


The metronome of the chirping cricket pierces the serenity of the drip drop of the flowing water. Surprisingly, it's not annoying. Its interlude is in fact quite ... amalgamating? Is that a word? One side of the four petals of the fountain is flowing short, she notices. Following that thought comes another thought, which is, that, it’s quite brilliant she can make up the petal analogy for the flowing sides of the fountain. There isn’t anyone who is going to know that! There is a light in the far away window. It had earlier painted a nauseatingly domestic picture of a family having dinner, laughing and burping and sharing days’ worth of missed words! She turns her head away from that. There is a slight movement near the bush… probably frogs or something sinister that has been making the wheezing sound. A garden snake slithers into the fountain lake. It could be a light twig moving in the wind. Said wind carries the tantalizing aroma of drying grass settling down for the sultry night of promising rain. Its quiet erotic if one is into that sort of thing! Sprawling further comfortably on the dry lawn she turns her head heaven wards! Heaven ward! Again, nice phrasing! Is that light that’s twinkling far to the west some bright star...probably Venus or simply just a tower with blinky light?
Ah, who cares!
Ti-ting announces the sound. The first thing that pops in the mind "I'm not going to talk every again!" makes her chuckle. Like a drunken promise, I-won’t-talk-again has been broken many number of times that it has become a reflex to think that with every sigh.

Hey, she says wearily with all intentions to avoid talking.

Hi, comes a sort of bored automatic response!

This breaks the wont-talk idea into smithereens and brings the gruff reply; I have heard all that you have say.

And yet, and yet..

Time lapses into the sort of silence which precariously balances on the weak one's will to keep it together.

Maybe I’am the problem

Hmm. Maybe!

DON'T start!

On comes the complicated roll of eyes

This time it’s the other one who plays the card

The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.

Uh! rolls in the downward turn of the lips. Not exactly what I asked for.

You don’t know the end game

What do I care about the end? Don’t like the current play

You know, giving up is easy

Now! I have heard this bullshit from many people many times. It’s not about a moment’s mad decision. It is a culmination of a millions of indecisions having no point to play

The fountain flows fracturedly into the windy night

Look around you, look at the beauty, says the tiny Voice of the Head!

It'd still be beautiful tomorrow.

You don’t know that.

I don’t have to.

If you don’t like what you have, try and change it.

What if trying is what is killing you.

Don’t be dramatic. It will definitely be alright!

You know, everyone needs a purpose in life. Something to hold on to – a faith. A reason. A finger. A hope. Atleast. Something.

I think you like being this way

No. And that’s the point

Isn’t there no fight left in you.

I still have you. Annoyingly! But what else is the point. Fight and then fight some more! Where is the peace!

Peace is when you want it.

Exactly.

The last light in the far away curtain goes off for the night. Symbolic, that is.

Until the morrow!

Monday, June 29, 2015

LiveTweetingVayKay

Starting this series..
..to keep a log of gyans that udhith during vacation that when said out loud or in a more popular (ahem!!) space would have people doubling their eye -rolls and not so subtly shifting away!!
So dear non-existant reader..today you get to be the hero.and.the audience!!
#LiveTweetingVayKay
Just saying,starting this series.

Friday, February 13, 2015

The Old King's Fool from Sonnet 155

I need to be able to write a write-up for this wonderful song. But all I can think of is, if you would just hear it you would know what I feel. The Shakespearean tragedy cried out by the violin... the subtle interlude of passionate memories holding on to the what-was and what-could-have-been...vague thinkings of is it Music or is it the Voice...all performed live. What more? Well, go on Ache with my heart
P.S: This is my interpretation of the lyrics; and as always I hear what I want to hear... So it might not be what Tim intended!

LEAR
Does any here know me? Why, this is not Lear.
Doth Lear walk thus? Speak thus?
Where are his eyes?
Either his notion weakens, his discerning’s are lethargied.
Ha, (sleeping or) waking?
(Sure), ’tis not so.
Who is it that can tell me who I am?

FOOL
Lear’s shadow.

Memories all around!
Keep them from disappearing
Pretending to yourself
You've seen the last of them
But, it all comes together
all you can do is try
to hurt each other less
to hurt each other less
to hurt each other ...less


CORDELIA
Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth: I love your majesty
According to my bond; nor more nor less.

LEAR
How, how, Cordelia! Mend your speech a little,
Lest it may mar your fortunes.
King! He held a fool
Like Love was holding you
Sleeping in his arms
Weeping till the dawn
We're all in disguise!
Will we have to say our love
if we hurt each other less
and hurt each other less
and hurt each other ...less


CORDELIA
Good my Lord,
You have begot me, bred me, loved me:
I return those duties back as are right fit,
Obey you, love you, and most honour you.
Why have my sister's husbands, if they say they love you all?
Haply, when I shall wed,
That Lord whose hand must take my plight
shall carry half my love with him, half my care and duty:
Sure, I shall never marry like my sisters, to love my father all.

Storms followed by summer sun
burning colors coming down
The Circle never ends
Wheels are turning in
'Cause we shared another room
The walls are blues and gray!
When we hurt each other less
we hurt each other less


LEAR
But goes thy heart with this?

CORDELIA
Ay, my good lord.

LEAR
So young, and so untender?

CORDELIA
So young, my lord, and true.
When we hurt each other less
we hurt each other less


LEAR
Why, thou wert better in a grave than to answer with thy
uncover'd body this extremity of the skies?
Is man no more than this?
Consider him well.
Thou ow'st the worm no silk
the beast no hide, the sheep no wool
the cat no perfume!
Ha! Here's three on's are sophisticated!
Thou are the thing itself; unaccommodated man is no more
but such a poor, bare, forked animal as thou art.
Come, off, you lendings!
Come, unbutton here.

Friday, April 25, 2014

I'm not here... This isn't happening' ... We all lived

This is one of those days when everything makes sense yet something doesn’t.

How not different, you say? Yea, I realized that as I wrote that…

Anyway…. The work is easing off and I’m back in the slump of crash and verge of boredom. As such, I was casting around for something to do, hoping it would be something to obsess over, I landed on “How to disappear completely” by Radiohead. I had come across the name of the song before, in some reading or the other. But I had not paid much attention to lyrics or made an effort to listen to it.

Today is one of those days when I figured...why not?

So I YouTube it and put on my ear plugs. Normally for the first few hearings I get the karaoke video mainly to get the lyrics down (that is the most important piece of the music, don’t you agree) but primarily because karaoke versions have low risk of being NSFW than the actual video.

But today is one of those days when I thought…

I wanted to figure the lyrics by myself…. I mean how hard it is going to be! So I started playing the song…. Noting the lyrics as he sang (oh, so divine) and reached until here..
That there
That’s not me
I go where I please
I walk through all/walls
I float down the leafy(?)
I’m not here… This isn’t happening!
I’m not here… I’m not here!
In a/my little while/ world
I’ll be gone
The moments already passed
Yea… yea... it’s gone!
And I’m not here… This isn’t happening!
I’m not here

After that the “Connection to Server” was lost. Normal occurrence…via office network and all… so can’t complain. I tried clicking on the next video listed. Same place, same pause. Then again the next and the next!

Angry!

I have run out of lyrics-videos to play and started playing the video-video ones. The same!

Creepy.

I even tried playing the whole album. But you must have guessed by now where it stopped. (If not, I worry for your sanity… seeing as I have helped you to puzzle this out by dedicating the entire post for this insignificant occurrence)

Scary.

Putting the sillyness aside (woefully)…. Here’s what I’m thinking and this is what led me to break the ennui, become the master of introspection and to re-dust this withering space of a blog….fuelled on by this singular Radiohead annoyance.
Recently, lately, I have been thinking a lot about coincidences, futility of occurrences, our control(?) over the way things collide and disperse, how we pick up strands of them to make some sort of cohesive minutiae, the itch to make sense of things, utility of knowledge to make leaps across the dots….

Today is one of those days.

As like I have done many a-times before I think I might start a process of recording how one snippet of attention leads to an obsession which then leads to the next. May be I will lose interest in the project because of the expectations to record the finding. Or maybe, just maybe it will help me arrive at the answer to the question of ….what was it again?

Yes… the concept of ‘would I have known this had I not have done this”...i.e., If I was not at Point A , would I have reached Point B. Mind; A and B could both be patently ridiculous in the scheme of things, which truthfully shouldn’t deserve all this thought and action. But it would be interesting to note which leads to where and how the picture will end up being. Sort of like the children’s puzzle of ‘Connect the dots’… except in this grown up version the dots are invisible until you start from a source in a direction entirely of your choice and keep reaching until you hit a spot.

You may ask why this is important, or how is it relevant, or what is it going to achieve, or where does it end, or I don’t know any other question words - there should be 2 more, at least! But I don’t have an answer to any of them. Because I don’t know!

And today is one of those days where I can’t be arsed to find out.

But this business with the Radiohead is freaking me out. What karmic presence needs to intervene for me to hear that damn song? I have been at it for the last 2 hours. Not just this…. But only just.

Anyways , what are you non-pathetic folks up to?