Friday, August 27, 2010

Confessions. Long due.

I’m back!!!

This time I’m really back from a self-imposed exile of more than a year and half. You may ask, why now? As anyone who knows me well would answer this, I too will say, Whimsical. Really no special significance to why I have chosen today as the day to break the viradham and get off my butt and write something in this well ignored space.

A lot has happened in the personal front and boy! I’m glad it all did. A new life, a new home, a new job, new friends, new difficulties, new challenges, new problems and there by new solutions, new avenues to explore, new things to get down about, new memories to forget...but very, very less time. Frankly I can’t blame it all on time or the lack thereof. In fact familial pressure and my single twisted gene fondly referred as laziness held me back from coming here. But seriously, none there to have seriously missed it, and I find my peace in that.

Another reason why I took an imposed break from posting here is, things started getting too corrupted in transit. In a way, that - Something worth mentioning would happen and my mind would start churning ideas on the ways to represent it well; thinking and analyzing which would be the best way to say, so that the reader would appreciate it. Doing so, all the essence of what has happened somehow seemed lost, and all that I was left with was a ‘Crafted piece’. I felt like I’m not doing justice to what I was doing. I realized I needed practice and discipline to take a view of a stranger, a common third person, to see and understand what is happening and write it in such a way that the words shown with sincerity, and would come out just right. Albeit a few literary/cursory/ writer’s license/advantage.

I will not lie, or delude myself, that I have gained all the wisdom required from the exercise. But I would like to believe I have come out better than how I went in. So all in all, to put to order the mad house that my mind is, I’m back wielding a rusty pen and armed with scrambled thoughts. I promise, more to myself than to that elusive (and almost non-existent) audience, I will write here more often.

Confession1: As I wrote the above in-a-go, I realize my writing is indeed rusty.

Confession2: I have not read a single book in a very long, time. Not accounting re-reading favorites like HP and some junk Sydney Sheldon, I have not even grazed beyond the covers of Aanandha Vikata, Kumudhan etc.

Confession3: Finding it difficult to type without word-web/ Thesaurus. Not searching for the word or meaning but for that inane spelling. Go figure!

Confession4: At this moment (of sleep induced vulnerability or what – I’m not sure, but..) it feels like I have come to terms with baring some truths about me, without any feeling of un-sourced guilt.

Confession5: Writing confessions at a go is not easy and I think i'm done.

No comments: