Tuesday, October 2, 2007
I wake up every morning, in the hope of not seeing you. But you are right in front of me, just like every other damn day. These past months I wonder, ‘Will I ever be free of your company?’ You are there, every hour of every day and lately have successfully slithered into my thoughts too. Initially I never wanted to give your presence any acknowledgement, but you act like an itch I’m ignoring to scratch. There is no denying that you are determined to trouble me, but for how long? Because of you, and your continual companionship, I feel distracted and I’m unable to concentrate on books, music or any other simple activities. It’s affecting my life in areas you wouldn’t have imagined. Relationships are strained and numerous backlogs at work. It’s been days since I had a normal conversation with loved ones or anyone, and I can easily trace back the start of such behavior to your initial appearances of what would be the contiguous spell of misery. It’s not very healthy, don’t you think? When will you understand that such uninvited presence is not well received with me? You have put me through various test and trials, and you be informed they are painful. I have silently suffered the past months, but now I’m tired. I’m weak! I beg, you please leave and return just once in a while, and then I will bear with you, I promise, without any grudge. Ah, I forgot. Yes, I’m scared! Do you realize that your continuous presence will eventually kill me? I’m concerned about my family and importantly myself and our relationship. I never had any clue that things could have been awry. You never gave me any warning, or is this a warning? Whatever it is, please understand, your absence will not be missed, for a while. So, please be gone, for now! But knowing you as I know, I know you wouldn’t leave just immediately, because I said so, but, c’mon it’s been months already. Every night I go to bed disappointed- on another day spent like this, worrying, and I wake up every morning, in the hope of not seeing you, again!