Monday, July 18, 2005


I’m unable to concentrate on any thing. Literally! No thoughts. My mind is blank.
My mind is trying to point to something. My heart is desperate that my mind points to it. I know there is something that is really bothering. Mind feels heavy, laden with some thing which I’m having difficultly finding out. Is it the feeling of insecurity I had in the previous assignments, which is suddenly overcoming me, as I read the document sent out to me of which I could make neither heads nor tails? Is it the feeling of losing something so very close to heart that is bothering me? Is this a foreboding that I’m fighting for losing cause, all over again. What is that, that is eluding. Is it a long-buried thought from the past? Is it an anxious anticipation of tomorrow? Or is it just the expectation for a bright and happy present?
In retrospection, I’m really not able to point to something and say this is what is troubling me. Though that is still eluding, every passing moment the feeling increases. A sudden desperation, anxiousness, an urgency to do something, but the mind and heart just blatantly refuses to co-operate.
If u are unable to relate to it, u r lucky!
If u can, then I’m sorry for u as much as I’m sorry for me.

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