An ego boost called Vacation....

I'm back... fresh and refreshed from a vacation to my home town. This probably is my first vacation to there unless you count the weekend/ holiday trips to home from out-of-station work. So this time it was supposed to be special... and in its own way it was.

• Yea... yea... the holiday was all roses and violets.... But underneath all the fun and smiles somehow it always felt that it was just a holiday and I have to come back to reality soon. Sigh!
• It was fun to land in Chennai, be in Chennai and  talk about things that are Chennai.... and enjoy a part of Chennai. 
• The travel to and fro was most definitely not fun. Although M was in her best behavior, I personally found the 12-14 hour stretch very uncomfortable. I particularly blame that as a recent for the jet-lag, which thankfully was/ is not bad.
• All the ideas and fantasies of how it would be to go back home after a few years and with M all grown up... well... now they are memories. Not surprisingly the mind and  heart has quickly reset itself with new ideas of how the next time would be... while savoring the recent memories :)
• Met a lot of people. Family, neighbors....and really really special friends. [Few years back when I was living in town and they were also living in town... we never had the urgency to meet. But this few years of separation has somehow brought us closer and made us make an effort to catch up.]
• Very proud of the fact that almost everyone who met me commented 'You look just the same...'. It was particularly sweet when said by a college-friend...whom I had not seen in almost a decade..I must say...Hehehe
• M had loads and loads and loads of fun with her thathas and paatis. I think the walls in my parents house, even after a week, would still be echoing of her laughter and "performance rhythms" and her wonderful (?) tamizh.
• Got in touch with a friend after a long time. A one-of-a-kind friend. For sometime now, she was one of the two people with whom I was desperate to reconnect. [Remember 'My person' idea of Grey's Anatomy]. I called. She answered. It was that simple. All that happened and all that was thought to have happened and all those imagined emotions were all forgiven. Forgotten? I guess not. And now it doesn't matter anyways. All that mattered to her was to know me and all that mattered to me was to get to know her and fill in the blanks the years have left. I'm very glad I made that call.
• H visited me. And it was heart-warming to see that some people just don't change...what was there between those people doesn't change too. It was so easy to pick up where we last left off and have a good time.
• Some people were busy to visit or call. Weirdly I don't blame them. If this were a few years back I would have been irritated with them, but this time somehow I was not. Why? 
• Airport and immigration checks in Chennai.... sucks. At a new level.
• Now when I'm done vacationing and all that's left to do is unpacking... I'm home-sick.
• It feels  like all I did in Chennai was shop. Its surprising how we even found time to relax
• It all started with the feeling to want to go home. So we went...we came back. And it ends with the feeling that I'am home. That's progress I guess.

Keeping the good ones

I started the last new year watching 'Eclipse'.

Other than serving the purpose of providing an insignificant opening statement to this post that line is completely irrelevant.

The whole past year,true to every new year, was usual, with all the hopes and dreams and surprises and disappointments and the eventual winding down.

But the year will stay in the memory depending on what we take away from it, depending on what we stow away as the year of 2011. Isn't it?

The 'neglected resolutions' will be forgotten but will be remodel-ed as the "new" years to-do. The 'pain of long distance' can be remembered for all the realizations that it made possible. The 'guilt of unconventional leaning for support' will be surely in memory as the 'depth of friendship and extent of trust'. The 'home-sick separation' makes the list for it assisted in deriving the courage for more responsibilities. The 'charade of crying-yelling-crying-guilt-doubts' though mildly irritating at present will become alright when in some future time I think 'Yes. I did it right and early'. The 'failures and set-backs' will be forgotten when the set-backs are set right later. The 'constant struggle to love, to lose, to fight, to forgive, to tone-down, to understand, to relate, to get what you want, to bear, to shape and bend, to get all that from the other' and all the added etceteros will be all fine when some day in old age you still have the hand to hold and walk and talk. The 'harsh words spoken in disappointment and anger' will be forgiven when eyes are lowered in answer to righteous greetings in a successful future. The 'certain nontransferable burdens that makes you want to run away' will seem a lot of lighter in the years to come for its always lovely to be depended upon implicitly, unconditionally. The 'first sighting of the first gray hair'... well.... there is no good spin to that. Some times somethings are just that.

There are only certain ways to deal with the life. According to me, one is to resist it and continue resisting. Two is to resist it but eventually wear down get used to what you actually resisted and become it. The third is to accept what it is and adapt.

No one can do just one of the above their whole life. Every common man will face situations in life when he has/had to judge and choose an appropriate approach.

But whatever life throws at you and however you deal with it, the proverbial 'lesson' from all that will, summarily, be somewhat a soft-blow, less painful,more happy, ecstatic memories of all the mixed emotions we went through for the whole 365 days.

We all wish that all the "happy" wishes we receive for the first few days of the new year will come true and we will be all "prosperous, healthy and hearty". Well that's the hope. But like sugar and spice, light and day, there will be some bitterness to the happiness too. So if things are not all good and gooey, where ever possible we all , at some level, try to give a nice and bearable title and contents. And that prepares us for the new years to come.

So here's to keeping the good ones.

Happy new year 2012.

Row, row, row your boat gently down stream...Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..(for) life is but a dream.

New year comes a day early.

How would you like it if someone says you can live a whole day without having to go through with it?

You might think they are hungover. Or you probably would think they are doing some high-kidding.

But it is true and it is happening.

There will be no Friday, Dec 30th in the calendar for some people in the world. Two nations, Samoa and Tokelau, are going to miss that whole day. For them after the Thursday night its going to be a New Year's Eve day.

Full story here.

Perfect 5 minutes

Rainy, gloomy outside.

Inside warm comforter looking at the pounding rain.

Coffee and Samosa.

Anal mele pani thuli....

What happened?

There are these days when you can’t just get enough of them. Another type is of those ones where you can’t wait enough to get it over with. Well, today is mixed. Good, bad, or medium? I’m not sure what! I would love to settle for an average kind of day.

A day ofreminiscence. A day filled with myriad emotions. A day when the images of the past year zoomed in mind. A day where failures seemingly blared and the achievements gave a sense of ‘miles to go’. This year, a relative died, a baby came along, I found a job, I quit a job, won hearts, hurt a few, loved some, missed dear ones, cried, laughed so hard that it hurt, thought a lot, got confused, was uncharacteristically steady during a particularly life-altering accident, learnt to smile when words hurt, questioned the purpose of certain bonds, became aggressively passive, staunchly refused to acknowledge weakness, realized not to ‘judge a book by its covers’ and that grimy windows do belong to a happy house , learnt strength is not of body but of mind, found out that many have unforgettable past history, became able to tell that world has more to offer us than otherwise if only we know what lessons we are looking for, belief in God grew more, can admit that I embrace certain superstition .... And so it can go on

Whatever be the mood, however be the day, one thing I’m certain is I’m not going to get this day back..I may not have emerged all that triumphant and glorious, but definitely this year helped me get wiser. And that’s a burden for the coming year. Need to ‘remember’ all that, needn’t I??

To say the clichéd I’m glad for my success for they made my stay worthwhile; , I’m thankful for my sorrows, for they humbled me; I’m happy for the experience for they gave a meaning to my existence ; I’m eager for the new year for it gives a promise of more experiences.

Happy new year unto all~