Wednesday, April 20, 2011

In my every breath there is you.

Of course, you would know this by no means can be an exhaustive list, but these are the few that popped into my mind as I started typing this.

• My Mom’s “Drink your coffee hot. Would probably help relieve your headaches”, every time when my morning coffee goes cold untouched.

• AJB’s “You would be a fool to not ask for help when you need or to not accept it when you are given” every time when I’m shy and apprehensive to seek help when I’m desperately needing it.

• My Father’s “This too shall pass” every time when I feel down and depressed or even too happy.

• Evangeline’s “My opinions are not that important that I need to share them all the time” every time when I have no choice but to bite my tongue to hold back any retort or argument.

• Mrs. Hr’s simple “Hang on!” every time when I … never mind!

• MiRaman’s “Perception of truth is the only truth now” every time when I want to give a shout out, thann nilai vilakkam, and to set records straight.

• Aparna’s timely and crucial baby advice, every time I cradle my baby in my arms without hurting my back and stitches.

• My Bro’s “You think they too taking about us” every time when I liberally comment on/about everyone and then want a ladder down my ego.

• Kotti’s “Remember how you started and where you came from” every time when I want to stay in touch with my roots.

• An Id... friend’s "Now your Home is where your ....n is" every time when I waver in my priorities between different places and people.

• One of my cousin’s “You think you know everything, but you don’t know anything really” every time when I want to humble down.

• Draiker’s “You set a high standard” every time when I think I deserve to be praised, irrespective of whether I receive the compliments or not.

• My 6th grade tamizh teacher’s “ngap pol valai” advice every time when I need the motivation to adjust or adapt.

• My grandma’s kind yet strict “kozhandai than mukkiyam… adhuku aprom than mathadellam” every time when I’m torn between watching a movie and playing pretend for the 100th time of that day.

• My FIL’s "Babies outgrow the need for us very soon. You will miss it before you fully realize the sweetness" every time when I'm dealing with late-night unreasonable clingings or thooki demands.

• A cousin's status and belief "Life is 10% of what happens to me, and 90% of how I react to it"

• A Haryani Loki’s strangely kind act of placing his overcoat as a cushion in my head/ back rest of my seat, in the dirty, smelly bus traveling in that sorry excuse of a road of the Pilani-Delhi route, every time when my head bumps on my seat.

• My grandfather’s quirky folklore saying “All right nu sonnanam English kaaran. Adhan sari nu sonnanam Thamizh kaaran” every time when I just want to agree to something just to shut the other person up.

• My BIL’s “If someone is doing something for you, whether you’ve asked them or not, let them be” every time when I want to comment or correct something someone is doing for my sake.

• ....'s “You look nice, no matter what” every time when I want reassurance about my looks.

• Sister Agneta’s “If you want, you can get all that. Seek unto God” every time when I really need Super help to take a step forward.

• My own quote and my search "Going forward is a direction. Being happy where you are, with what you have is the destination"

Many such significant words, many other trivial actions… but they all are staying with me for a reason. The context of the actual conversation is long forgotten, but some words you have said, I still remember, because, to me, it’s not so much what’s said, just not what’s done, but everything to do with how it makes me feel.

And these made me feel better. You made me feel good. You gave me a sense of direction. You gave me hope. Sometimes you gave me all. Sometimes you gave me one, the one I needed the most. You have made me a better person.

So my dears, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know it’s such an incomplete and deficient word. But that’s all I have got.

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