Saturday, April 30, 2011

Just whatever..

I have a private life and a very private mind. And an even more private home!

My doors are closed to random strangers. People come into my house only through invitation. Most of the events in my life are ‘need to know’ to general, public acquaintances. But who are close to my heart, who can understand me, are always welcome.

Nevertheless, I have let a tiny window from my living room open. I have it thrown open more for convenience than for anything else. Through that I can look at the world below, and the world can look back in. But their view is very limited unlike mine. And the few snippets that I get to see are all, I feel, very detailed and so publicly personal. I wonder at that, that how some people can bare all and let unknown folks know so much about them; intentionally or otherwise; does harm or not. I’m seldom nosy. I rarely am interested in affairs of other people, unless I’m personally informed. I sit by my window just to pass time seeing the world go by. But sometimes even insignificant things make you wonder, and here’s one thing thats been frying my brain for a few days.

People come and go in the walks of life. So my view is deliberately different every time I chance to look at it. By habit, I can see some patterns too. Some come, talk, and talk less and less. Some come, talk, and continue talking. Some come, talk marvel, and then leave forever. Some come, marvel, talk much, leave and come back to talk more. I can understand the fist category where I think I can fit myself into, when viewed from any other open window. But I have never understood the rest of them. Especially the last!

It rarely happens. It breaks the pattern (either you leave or you stay). It’s a huge distraction. It creates a sort of an atmosphere where they were seemingly missed. It’s difficult to not be interested in what they have to say, now that they have abstained and are back with more vigor. Relevance or the lack thereof stops to matter. Left to the chance that they might say something interesting gives a hope and reason for the doors to remain open. That and prior inclinations.

They completely poach your heart with all their talks and laughs and their silliness. They make you believe that that’s their life. Their happy smiles make you want to see more. They make you jealous that you are not part of it. Their popularity makes you wonder why your restrict yourselves. Unintentional obsession develops.

They fry your head. You make an image of what they are based on what they show you. You try and get yourselves convinced that is what is true and perfect. You will think you know everything that’s happening with them. You get angry when you think others can also get a glimpse of what they show. Confusion reigns!

I say, Idiot Poacher, why need to come back?

Disclaimer: Italics from Wild Child.


Anonymous said...

Onnum puriyala, u mean this abt supposedly close relations, who are too infrequent but are sweet and nice, when they step-in? Or is also about randomn nosies, sometime decipherable that keeps emnating from all directions because of the closed neighbourhood?

Anonymous said...

I think she means the latter! My question is why are you bothered about the extra clamor that they bring into your life? your life and society is what you choose it to be. So why read too much into it? If they are so infrequent in your life, why even allow them in in the first place?

Akila R said...

I mean neither.

The second is too literal.

>> your life and society is what you choose it to be

Yes. But as i'm sure you would agree that i'm not immune to external factors and changes. Though I choose to or not, I see them,feel them and this is a commentary about them.