Ah! The relief of no work! It’s a great thing to wake up to an empty to-do-list. You can snooze all you want. But you know, I’m warning you, it gets boring after a few days. When you had to work, the leisure felt rightfully earned and so was sweet. Now that you have uninterrupted free time it will make staying vetti a work.
And talking about it makes it so much better. Shut it.
So you have a million things to do. And you don’t have any inclination to start anytime soon. You haven’t even listed the things to buy, things to do, people to say goodbye to...You know what’s going to happen... Even with so much time in hand it’s still going to be a whirlwind at the moment of leaving. Is that what you want? Is that right?
Stop nagging.
You have been wanting a makeover, for so long, even I don’t remember. Have you decided on which to opt. Hair color? Tattoo? Hair style? You would want elegance and dignity and yet at the same time want to look appealing and nice. More than anything you definitely need to lose weight, get fit and wear trendy clothes. Your image speaks before you do. Smart dressing does the trick most of the time. But I guess at some level perhaps you don’t care.
Never mind!
You know the need to stay in touch is tough act. It’s the responsibility of all the parties. You know, they have the Internet, they are connected via mobile and yet I’m the one calling and mailing and I’m the one waiting for the response that’s yet to come. And sometimes you blame me for losing touch with your friends. How is that fair? How long can I sustain the interest solo? Needs to work both ways
Right.
I am missing a lot of people. I need to tell them that. Or should I? What if they don’t think so? I will let them know they are being remembered? Don’t you want to?
Yes.
If saying ‘I miss you’ is okay, then why is saying ‘I love you’ not? Yes. Yes, I know. It’s quite powerful. But isn’t that a reason enough to be vocal about it. I can say it to my father, brother, boyfriend but not a friend. Without sending wrong signals, without causing eyebrow rises! Even in this “well educated” and “modern and forward” society it is still considered taboo to use those words other than when it is meant in the sense of relationship. Why can’t it be used in the league of “please” and” sorry” and “thanks”? “Thanks for the support dear... it means a lot to me... I love you for that”. Why that is unnecessary and reacted to as some thing that need not be explicitly told? It’s not like I’m going to jump them!
......
I want to watch ‘Engeyum Kadhal’ or ‘Water for Elephants’ in theaters. Need some company... Will there be any takers?
I wish.
Is the baby alright? She is been silent for a long time now? Are you doing something wrong? Better call up Mother and confirm. Ask her to come here...
Oh, my God.
“Dil torna humari adhat nahi hai...” Nice line. Can be used as prompt for writing?
No mood.
I will tell you a secret. You work better while you are doing a repetitive task. Haven’t you noticed that it heightens your sense of concentration? I have come to realize that when the mind is supposedly occupied, the thoughts get organized and you kind of get a perspective. Don’t you see it as the reason why you feel that during exams and tense project moments you get lots of interesting things to think about? The thing with repetitive tasks is that after sometime it becomes monotonous and the mind tries to concentrate on something else. I personally find cleaning, doing pradhakshinams etc to be calming and relaxing. Isn't that what people claim about Yoga?
Enough!
I have heard, Food is the only thing that can be enjoyed and when offered more would elicit an ‘Enough’ response. I don't believe I can say enough to anything else. Maybe sadness, sleep etc... But the words I choose to express it may not be 'enough', per se
I’m going to divert myself.
Archer is a very nice read.
Internet, perhaps.
Sara Teasdale songs are really simple and straight forward. I know one other woman writer of her time who also had a letter-friend beau and also suffered from depression. Who?
Will TV work against you?
The level of tolerance has increased multifold. I attribute it to the spike in the amount of TV watching. Gruesome violence and sex are mainstream now. Subsconiscouly I don’t seem to even mind them. Now you know why what was deemed indecent has somehow become tolerable?
Music?
'O-Mama-maama Vippaamalaama' is a good song. Mrinalini is a wonderful name. It was in vogue sometime back...others I can recollect are crazes on Nivedhita,Aishwarya, Arya...
Sigh!
It’s too hot in the house, even in the evenings. But summer nights remind me of the lazy times in Agrahaaram. The warmth in the air, the dryness, the earth trying to cool down since the Sun had disappeared, the fragrance of new flowers, Ponds talc, Hamam soap, All India Radio, lying in the mithtam and staring at the stars, in the dim and barely burning gundu bulb light...
Wow.
Did I ever mention to you about the nights in the ‘Grim old place’ and the scandalous, forgotten secrets shared behind closed doors in whispered voices?
Was there.
If you are caught in-between what you want and what is wanted of you how to choose a side without offending the other?
Shut up.
Separation is a good thing
DONT. GO. THERE
***
Some people feel bad that their Thoughts deserted them. How did they ever manage to get rid of them? How glad would I be if mine ever did that?
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